What?! Am I still writing this blog??
Well, for one year, two months, and nine days, that answer was most definitely no, and for several good reasons:
1. I started this blog to keep people up-to-date on the journey God was taking me overseas, and since that journey had apparently hit a dead-end, I didn't have much to say.
2. I was sorta busy . . . you know, being a bank teller, cleaning houses, rockin' the bass guitar at church on Sunday mornings . . . ("Sure, Monica, like you weren't busy during that whole time you were gallivanting across the globe. You still managed to keep in touch with the known world then! Nice try." Work with me here, people. After all, first-world problems require a first-world excuse.)
3. It took me about this long to realize that what I mistook for a dead-end was actually an intersection in disguise. In my frustration and, well, denial, I maybe kind of spent some time in the ditch by the side of the road too.
So not only has the Divine Driver of the Redemptive Tow Truck pulled my sorry mess back onto the road, He's also very clearly marked out the next section of our journey on the map. And just to make sure I don't get cold feet, He gave me a good hearty shove and sent me far enough away from the ditch that there isn't really any way I can crawl back in.
In other words, I start college on Monday.
After I returned from my second trip to Spain and my gap year became two , I seriously questioned what I was doing with my life. I spent some time working a "real job" at a local bank before my house cleaning business expanded to the point that I'm now cleaning full-time. I was busy with family stuff and church stuff and friend stuff, yet had no direction, no goal. I'll be honest . . . I spent more than one night laying awake wondering how on Earth anything I was doing was making an eternal difference. And I can't count the number of moments I'd see or hear or smell or remember something that instantly sent my heart to West Africa and I'd miss Mali so badly it took my breath away.
At the same time, I was frustrated by my options. For a young single woman, there don't really seem to be many opportunities on the mission field aside from becoming a nurse or a nanny. While those are both wonderful areas of service, the Holy Spirit made it V.E.R.Y. C.L.E.A.R. to me that I am not meant to serve Him in either of those capacities.
While I can't pinpoint the exact time or place that the Lord put teaching on my heart, by this spring I was online researching TESOL and online college. TESOL, or Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages, interested me because it's a creative approach to sharing the gospel with all kinds of people, and it will get you into almost any country. In order to become certified in TESOL, you have to pass a 140-hour certificate program, and in order to even consider a certificate, you need a 4-year degree.
So began the hunt for a college. This was the scariest, hardest part for me. I hadn't planned to go to college (though fortunately I had never quite ruled out the idea; needless to say, I was soon very grateful my mom made me take the ACT and SAT in high school) and had no idea what kind of degree I needed, much less where I wanted to get it. After some looking and thinking and praying, though, I decided on three criteria for my ideal degree program:
1. It had to be online. My parents are still very graciously letting me live at home, so my expenses here are minimal and I'm able to save quite a bit. Work is going really well and I don't want to give it up if I don't have to. Plus I want to be home to help start the new family business!
2. It had to be cheap. Or as cheap as possible, anyway. I want to avoid student loans at all costs.
3. It had to involve minimal amounts of math because . . . well, math.
To make a long story short, I applied at one school with a major that met my criteria, got accepted, then received an email from my pastor about another school I should try for. I was happy to get accepted anywhere and was sure how I felt about jinxing my first acceptance. I'm pretty sure God doesn't do superstition, which is probably why He made sure I got into the Biblical Studies program at Toccoa Falls College. It happens to be a Christian college (a possibility I had ruled out after looking at some other *very expensive* schools earlier in my search), as well as one of the schools affiliated with our church's denomination, the Christian and Missionary Alliance. And did I mention it's the same tuition as the first school I was accepted at? God's so funny that way. ;)
Looking back over the last two years, it seems so strange that this is what I would be doing at this stage of my life. It's not what I would have planned for myself, yet I wouldn't change a thing. I could not have ended up here if not for the physical journey God has led me on, to Europe and to Africa and in and out of the lives of people who have said or done many things, small and large, to shape my story. The spiritual journey has been especially hard lately. I won't pretend to have a difficult life or a hopeless future. But neither will I deny how He has worked through depression and frustration and laziness to teach me how to fight for hope, how to trust and obey, how to be okay with seeing only the next step.
Jesus, as always, is enough.
And that's all I need.
